School 1977 vs. School 2007

Scenario 1: Johnny and Mark get into a fistfight after school.

1977 – Crowd gathers. Mark wins. Johnny and Mark shake hands and end up mates.

2007 – Police are called, Armed Response Unit arrives and arrests Johnny and Mark. Mobiles phones with evidence of fight are confiscated. Both are charged with assault, ASBOs are taken out and suspended even though Johnny started it. Diversionary conferences and parent meetings conducted. Mobile phone video shown on 6 internet sites.

Scenario 2: Jeffrey won’t sit still in class, disrupts other students.

1977 – Jeffrey is sent to the principal’s office and given 6 of the best. Returns to class, sits still and never disrupts the class again.

2007 – Jeffrey is given huge doses of Ritalin. Counselled to death.
Becomes a zombie. Tested for ADHD. School gets extra funding because
Jeffrey has a disability. Jeffrey drops out of school.

Scenario 3: Billy breaks a window in his neighbour’s car and his Dad
gives him the slipper.

1977 – Billy is more careful next time, grows up normally, goes to college, and becomes a successful businessman.

2007 – Billy’s dad is arrested for child abuse. Billy is removed to foster care and joins a gang. Psychologist convinces Billy’s sister that she remembers being abused herself and their dad goes to prison.
Billy’s mum has an affair with the psychologist. Psychologist gets a promotion.

Scenario: Mark brings cigarettes to school .

1977 – Mark shares a smoke with the school principal out on the smoking area.

2007 – Police are called and Mark is expelled from School for drug possession. His car is searched for drugs and weapons.

Scenario: Mohammed fails GCSE English.

1977 – Mohammed retakes his exam, passes and goes to college.

2007 – Mohammed’s cause is taken up by local human rights group.
Newspaper articles appear nationally, insisting that making English a requirement in school is racist. Civil Liberties Association files class action lawsuit against state school system and his English teacher.
English is banned from core curriculum. Mohammed is given his qualification anyway but ends up mowing lawns for a living because he cannot speak English.

Scenario: Johnny takes apart leftover firecrackers, puts them in a model
plane paint bottle and blows up an anthill.

1977 – Ants die.

2007 – MI5 and police are called and Johnny is charged with perpetrating acts of terrorism. Teams investigate parents, siblings are removed from the home, computers are confiscated, and Johnny’s dad goes
on a terror watch list and is never allowed to fly with American airlines ever again.

Scenario: Johnny falls during playtime and scrapes his knee. His
teacher, Mary, finds him crying, and gives him a hug to comfort him.

1977 – Johnny soon feels better and goes back to playing.

2007 – Mary is accused of being a sexual predator and loses her job. She faces three years in prison. Johnny undergoes five years of therapy; becomes gay.

Men strike back!

How many men does it take to open a beer?
None. It should be opened when she brings it
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Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
Because a woman who can’t even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.
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Why do women have smaller feet than men?
It’s one of those “evolutionary things” that allows
them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.
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How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
When she starts a sentence with “A man once told me..”
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How do you fix a woman’s watch?
You don’t. There is a clock on the oven.
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If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
The dog, of course. He’ll shut up once you let him in.
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What’s worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?
A woman who won’t do what she’s told
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I married a Miss Right.
I just didn’t know her first name was Always.
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Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman’s sex drive by 90%.
It’s called a Wedding Cake.
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Why do men die before their wives?
They want to.
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Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer
gut, and still think they are sexy.
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In the beginning, God created the earth and rested.
Then God created Man and rested.
Then God created Woman.
Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.